“If I have too much fun with my son, something bad will happen to him.”
That’s the rule my brain had installed. Silently. Without my consent. For years.
I discovered it on day 6 of my Vipassana retreat. And honestly, it freaked me out.
Maureen had wanted me to do this retreat for a while. 10 days of meditation. Zero talking. Zero phone. Zero distractions.
I had done ayahuasca, “hardcore” stuff. But this? This scared me more. Because here, you have to decide to stay focused. You’re not “subjected” to the experience. You go through it.
What came up during those 10 days, I didn’t expect it at all.
🤖 Try it now
Before you even continue reading, copy this prompt into your favorite AI:
“I just read an article on unconscious ‘protection systems’ we create after our first disappointments. My context: I am a [your role] in [your industry]. My first major professional or personal disappointment was [describe briefly]. Help me identify:
1) What protection rule I likely created at that moment
2) How this rule might still manifest today
3) What it costs me”
You might be surprised by what comes out. 👀
The invisible “protection systems”
We all create rules after our first major disappointments. The problem is, they keep running in the background for 10, 15, 20 years.
For me, it was after my first real breakup. Four years invested 100%. She left. My brain went: “OK, this must not happen again. Security system activated.”
The system? Keeping a “discomfort” of 20-50% in all my relationships. Never being completely vulnerable. Using work as the perfect excuse. And the worst: trying to end my current relationship. Twice. To “control” the ending before it happens.
The craziest part? I didn’t know I was doing it. Until it came up in the silence.
Pain vs Suffering
It’s the most useful distinction I brought back from those 10 days.
Pain is the sensation. The cramp. The aching knee. The ex leaving.
Suffering is your reaction to the pain. It’s when you turn “I’m hurt” into “this is unbearable, it shouldn’t happen, why me”.
Vipassana teaches you to stay with pain without turning it into suffering. You observe it. You breathe. And it passes. Because everything is temporary. Even this.
🤖 Prompt to explore this:
“A recent situation that made me suffer: [describe]. Help me distinguish:
1) The raw pain (facts, sensation)
2) The story I added (suffering)
3) How to stay with the pain without transforming it”
Equanimity (or how to stop being a slave to your sensations)
Imagine a completely crazy dog going in every direction. That’s your mind.
Pleasant sensation? You run towards it. Unpleasant sensation? You flee. You spend your life reacting.
Equanimity is staying in the middle. Observing the sensation. Not running towards pleasure. Not fleeing pain. Just watching.
On day 6, I understood: I no longer have to be a slave to my sensations. It’s like Neo in the Matrix. The bullets come, but you can choose not to react automatically.
📥 Free Resource
To help you explore your own “protection systems,” I created a sheet with 3 AI prompts: AI Sheet – Vipassana & Unconscious Patterns
You can download it and use it with your preferred AI (ChatGPT, Claude, etc.) to:
• Identify the rules you created after your first disappointments
• Explore where you keep a “discomfort” in your current life
• Distinguish pain and suffering in your recent situations
To go further
🎥 Full conversation with Maureen
We dissect everything: the 6-circles framework I invented, the panic on day 6, and why 10 men left but zero women.
🔥 Creative Lounge
If you want to explore these patterns with other creatives who understand your reality.
Ideal if: you feel like you’re compensating with work and want to understand why
💼 1-on-1 Coaching
If you want us to dissect your specific protection systems with my 4 perspectives (artist/manager/HR/entrepreneur).
Ideal if: you’re at a pivotal moment and feel something is blocking you without knowing what
P.S. Maureen has committed to doing Vipassana in 2026. You have the right to remind her in the comments. 😏
